Living between two cultures: a gentle, practical view

A question many Vietnamese people living in Australia ask — especially those who have been here a few years — is: “Who am I now? Vietnamese or Australian?”

The question sounds big, but it can also become a source of unnecessary stress if you think it demands a definitive answer.

It is not a case of choosing one and dropping the other

Cultural identity is not a single box. Most Vietnamese people who have lived in Australia for a long time do not really “become Australian” and stop being Vietnamese — they are Vietnamese people living in Australia, with layers of culture interwoven in each person’s own way.

You can use English at work and Vietnamese at home. You can eat a Vietnamese dinner and know exactly how an Australian workplace works. You can hold a Vietnamese view of family and an Australian view of personal boundaries — and both can coexist.

That is not inconsistency — it is normal for someone living across two cultures.

The fatigue of cultural switching is real

There is a concept called “code-switching” — automatically shifting how you speak, how you behave, and how you interpret things depending on the context. People who live biculturally do this constantly, and often unconsciously.

This takes energy. Every day you adjust a little at work (more Australian), then go home and adjust again (more Vietnamese), then call family back home and adjust once more — this fatigue is real, even if outsiders do not see it.

Recognising that this is normal — not weakness or instability — helps you be more compassionate with yourself.

The in-between is not a place of lost identity

One common view is that people who live biculturally “don’t belong anywhere fully” — not Vietnamese enough for the Vietnamese, not Australian enough for the Australians. This view can leave you feeling isolated.

Another way to see it: that in-between space is precisely where you stand, and it has a value of its own. You understand both sides in a way that someone who lives in only one culture does not — a way of seeing, of solving problems, of connecting with people in similar situations all over the world.

That does not make the tension disappear — but it places it within a different picture.

Identity changes over time — and that is normal

If you compare who you were in your first year in Australia and your fifth, you will see a difference. How you react in social situations, what you find normal, what you find strange — all of it will change. That does not mean you have “lost your roots” or “become a different person.”

Anyone’s identity changes through time and experience. That is true of people who never migrate, and even more true of people who have lived in a new environment.

You don’t have to explain yourself to everyone

Sometimes Vietnamese people in Australia are put in a position of having to “represent” their culture — explaining why Vietnamese people do this or that, or defending the views of the community. No one is born to be a cultural ambassador.

You just need to be yourself. No one needs you to represent an entire culture, and you do not need to justify anything.