Common mistakes migrant parents make when their child starts school

No parent sets out to harm their child. The “mistakes” in this guide come from expectations and habits that are perfectly reasonable in their home country — but create unnecessary friction in the Australian education context. Recognising these differences helps you support your child better on their learning journey in Australia.

Not contacting the teacher for fear of being a nuisance

In some cultures, parents tend to avoid contacting teachers directly unless asked, or unless a problem has already become serious.

In Australia, the opposite is expected. Teachers in Australia want to hear from parents — early, often, and proactively. An email asking “How is my child progressing?” or “I’ve noticed my child seems sad when they come home — have you seen anything at school?” is completely appropriate and welcome.

Waiting too long before speaking up usually means a small problem has become a big one.

A better approach: Treat the parent-teacher conference each term as the minimum, not the maximum. If you have a concern mid-term, send a short email — the teacher will respond.

Setting academic expectations too high in the early stage

Many migrant parents set very high academic expectations for their children — coming from a culture that values education and a strong sense of building a good future for them.

But in the early stage in Australia — when a child is at once learning a new language, adapting to a new environment, and building new friendships — the brain doesn’t have enough “bandwidth” to excel academically at the same time. Pressure to study more, comparisons with other children, or criticism of poor results in this stage usually backfire.

A better approach: In the first year or two, prioritise your child feeling safe, happy, and building friendships. English and academics will improve once the social and emotional foundation is stable.

Not taking part in school activities

Many migrant parents — because of a language barrier, busyness, or unfamiliarity with the culture — don’t take part in school activities: parent information nights, school working bees, or the parents’ association (Parents and Citizens / P&C).

This is a shame for two reasons. First, taking part helps you understand the environment your child is in and build relationships with teachers and other parents. Second, when you are present and involved, your child feels prouder and more connected to the school.

A better approach: Start small — attend one school event each term. You don’t need to say much; just being there is meaningful enough.

Comparing your child with other migrant children

Comparing your child with the children of acquaintances in the migrant community — particularly about academic ability, marks, or which school they will get into — is a common habit but can harm your child.

Children develop at different paces. During the adjustment to a new environment, comparison creates pressure and a feeling of not being good enough — instead of encouraging progress.

A better approach: Compare your child today with your child three months ago. Ask: where has my child made progress? Are they making more friends? Are they happier? These questions matter more than marks or rankings.

Criticising the school or teacher in front of your child

When disappointed with the school or a teacher — and sometimes there is a reason — many parents share that disappointment directly in front of their child.

This makes it hard for the child to trust and respect their learning environment — and respect is the foundation for learning. If a child hears a parent say a teacher is “no good” or the school “doesn’t care”, the child will carry that attitude into the classroom.

A better approach: If you have a genuine concern, talk to the teacher or school directly. In front of your child, even if you disagree with a school decision, still show basic respect for the teacher and your child’s learning environment.

Not using interpreting services

Many migrant parents are reluctant to ask for an interpreter because they feel embarrassed or don’t want to be a bother.

This leads to not fully understanding important information from the school — and missing out on support your child is entitled to.

A better approach: Asking for an interpreter is a normal and legitimate right. Many states have free or low-cost interpreting services for dealings with education authorities. Ask the school about this support — there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Rushing in the moment your child has a social difficulty

When they hear about a conflict with a friend, many parents want to step in immediately: call the other parent, demand the school deal with it, or teach their child to fight back.

Not every social conflict needs a parent’s intervention. Children need space to learn to resolve things themselves — and small conflicts are part of that learning.

A better approach: Listen first. Ask how your child wants to handle it. Help your child think through a solution rather than solving it for them. Step in only when your child genuinely can’t manage, or when the situation is more serious in nature (repeated bullying, safety at risk).

Next steps

For how to communicate effectively with teachers, see the related guide on communicating with your child’s teacher and preparing for meetings.

When your child struggles to fit in, see the guide on the signs to watch for when a child struggles at school.